Behavioral New World December 1, 2022Thanks for reading Behavioral New World! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. Ben Franklin vs. the Hare Krishnas In this month’s newsletter, I investigate two behavioral tendencies that appear to be in conflict. Both involve the controversial topic of manipulation / persuasion, though I am sure many of the players mentioned below would simply call it “marketing” or the equivalent.
It depends on the relationship you want to have and the status and position of the person with whom you want to connect. If transactional, giving someone something might prompt them to provide an item in exchange. This only works a couple of times at most in western cultures.
I think there can also be a cultural component. I worked with a colleague from China, and they would give you a gift, you would reciprocate, and they would give you another... you finally had to break the cycle. I don't think they really wanted something from you, but perhaps I should not have reciprocated...
If you're going to develop a longer and more profound relationship or seek a mentor, asking them maybe asking for help is the best approach, as they will now be invested in you. Franklin would ask to borrow a book. This favor is granted to Ben, then a connection is made: "Wow, we both like the same book." However, this approach will probably work best if the person you are establishing the relationship with is at your "level" or slightly above. If I reach out to Tim Ferris and ask to borrow a book, it will not work. In that case, I might do some research or work that would provide an insight he had not thought of and "give" that to him.
It depends on the relationship you want to have and the status and position of the person with whom you want to connect. If transactional, giving someone something might prompt them to provide an item in exchange. This only works a couple of times at most in western cultures.
I think there can also be a cultural component. I worked with a colleague from China, and they would give you a gift, you would reciprocate, and they would give you another... you finally had to break the cycle. I don't think they really wanted something from you, but perhaps I should not have reciprocated...
If you're going to develop a longer and more profound relationship or seek a mentor, asking them maybe asking for help is the best approach, as they will now be invested in you. Franklin would ask to borrow a book. This favor is granted to Ben, then a connection is made: "Wow, we both like the same book." However, this approach will probably work best if the person you are establishing the relationship with is at your "level" or slightly above. If I reach out to Tim Ferris and ask to borrow a book, it will not work. In that case, I might do some research or work that would provide an insight he had not thought of and "give" that to him.