Behavioral New World
December 1, 2022
Ben Franklin vs. the Hare Krishnas
In this month’s newsletter, I investigate two behavioral tendencies that appear to be in conflict. Both involve the controversial topic of manipulation / persuasion, though I am sure many of the players mentioned below would simply call it “marketing” or the equivalent.
The first of these is reciprocity.
Most, if not all, of us are aware of the notion of reciprocity: When someone does something good for us, even something quite small, we often feel an obligation to repay the favor in some way. For the title of this newsletter, I chose the Krishnas because they have used reciprocity very effectively. As reported in Robert B. Cialdini’s excellent book Influence: Science and Practice, the Krishnas foist some “gift” (flowers are common) on passersby and then ask for a donation. Even if the passersby have no desire for a flower, they often make a donation. (And when they throw the flower away, it can be reclaimed by the Krishnas and used again.)
But the Krishnas are not alone. Ever get a mail solicitation with a nickel in it? Or a map of the world? Or return address stickers? Why do the organizations sending these letters go to all that trouble and added expense? Because their research shows that including a “free gift” (isn’t that an oxymoron?) substantially increases the response rate.
And consider this personal and perhaps more benign setting: Have you ever said, “They had us over for dinner. I guess we need to invite them over here for dinner”? That’s reciprocity in action.
Two quick points here. First, reciprocal gifts do not have to be equal in value. A nickel in a letter might stimulate a $50 donation. Second, we are not always aware of the influence of reciprocity on our decisions, hence the dangers it poses. A good time then for the advice portion of this newsletter: When you receive a gift, consider the motivation of the giver, and reflect on your own (natural) tendency to reciprocate—is that in your best interests? It certainly can be at times, but often it’s not.
The persistence and strength of reciprocity probably has its origins in evolution. Groups in which members reciprocated survived better. “You brought me mammoth meat last week, I’ll share with you the berries I collected this week.”
The second behavioral tendency of interest is called the Ben Franklin effect. Quoting Franklin: “He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.’’ That is, if you ask someone to do a favor for you (and they do it), it is more likely that they will do another favor for you than if you had done a favor for them.[1],[2]
Wait, what?! What then are we supposed to do if we want a favor from someone? Do them a favor (reciprocity) or ask a favor of them (Ben Franklin)? Which approach to use – if we are inclined to use tricks like these – might well depend on the circumstances, the relationship that you have with the person, and other factors. My search of the internet and other sources turns up discussions of presumably relevant factors, but none seem backed by systematic, replicated research.
What do you think? What have been your experiences with reciprocity and the Ben Franklin effect? Are they in conflict? Feel free to leave a comment.
And what would happen if you asked a Krishna to do you a favor before they put a flower in your hand? Hmm.
[1] A riff on the Ben Franklin effect: “Ask a person to do a favor for you and in return, you’ll find they’ll like you even more than they would if you had done a favor for them.” Good for your love life?
[2] For your further edification, Ben Franklin did not invent Daylight Savings Time. See https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/did-benjamin-franklin-invent-daylight-savings-time-1232015/
It depends on the relationship you want to have and the status and position of the person with whom you want to connect. If transactional, giving someone something might prompt them to provide an item in exchange. This only works a couple of times at most in western cultures.
I think there can also be a cultural component. I worked with a colleague from China, and they would give you a gift, you would reciprocate, and they would give you another... you finally had to break the cycle. I don't think they really wanted something from you, but perhaps I should not have reciprocated...
If you're going to develop a longer and more profound relationship or seek a mentor, asking them maybe asking for help is the best approach, as they will now be invested in you. Franklin would ask to borrow a book. This favor is granted to Ben, then a connection is made: "Wow, we both like the same book." However, this approach will probably work best if the person you are establishing the relationship with is at your "level" or slightly above. If I reach out to Tim Ferris and ask to borrow a book, it will not work. In that case, I might do some research or work that would provide an insight he had not thought of and "give" that to him.